I will write a poem for you

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I will write a poem for you
I will write a poem for you about anything you want
Funny, sad, gross, business, romantic, etc, ANYTHING you want me to write a poem about I will do for you!
All you need to do is tell me what it is you would like the poem to be about

It will be delivered by email

I will make a video of me eating any kind of food

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I will make a video of me eating any kind of food
This has the potential to get out of control

I will make a video of me eating any kind/combination of foods you can come up with, as long as it is easily available and won't cost me an arm and a leg
Don't forget about condiments and spices, too

And hopefully, it will be snack sized, not meal sized
:P
I won't do raw or burnt foods

Update: Nor will I film in my underwear, show you my boobs, or eat anything other than food
And no, I do NOT
DO
NUDE
So pervs, stop asking
So far, I've only had one request that has been relevant to the service

I will turn you into a zombie in photoshop

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I will turn you into a zombie in photoshop
Halloween is coming fast, spice up your pictures and scare your friends and family by being transformed into a brain hungry undead monster! I have over 6 years experience in Photoshop AND zombies ;)