I will make a hillbilly redneck dude video for you drunk or not testimonial or birthday

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I will make a hillbilly redneck dude video for you drunk or not testimonial or birthday
I am BobbyJoe JimBob and I can say anything you want for $5
Keep it clean and to about 70 words
I will do the rest for you
It will be fun and you going to like it
If you need more words, add another service
Best would be bullet points, it is hard for me to read, but hey, I'll try it
So go ahead ;-) I have no shirts, so be ready!

I will mail a letter from the trailer park with photo

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I will mail a letter from the trailer park with photo
Jolene Sugarbaker The Trailer Park Queen will Hand Write a Special Letter on her cute Trailer Park Stationary to your friend on their special day! Weddings, Birthday, Anniversary! G - Rated Only! Up to 100 Words, but it's best to just include some facts and Jolene will make it personal! The Trailer Park will mail this letter to your special someone anywhere in the United States (Please allow an unknown time for delivery, usually a few days with the Post Office, your item will be mailed the day the fivess service posts) They'll also receive an Autographed Inscribed Photo of The Trailer Park Queen! Super Fun!