I will record your english voiceover

Click here for more details
I will record your english voiceover
I'm an actor who has provided voiceover for studio projects and IVR for many years
Simply email your commercial copy or video text and tell me how you'd like it cut
100 words would be $5, 200 words $10, and so on
I can also help you with music beds and copy editing as well for an additional $5 each
Clarify questionable pronunciations by including an audio example or link to a video where I can hear it
Abbreviations must be spelled out, or they will be read as such
Revisions must be paid barring an error on my part
Please submit your final draft, as I will read your first copy submission, and if you wish to make changes after placing the order, they must be paid
I'll supply multiple audio files for an additional fee

I will read your television pitch and give you a professional honest assessment of the potential

Click here for more details
I will read your television pitch and give you a professional honest assessment of the potential
I am a NYC based TV producer with 20 years of experience in comedy, reality and scripted entertainment
I worked at SNL for 10 season's and help develop the SNL Digital Short

I will read your TV pitch and give you my professional opinion of it

If I think it is a marketable and sell-able idea, story, or script, I will propose an option agreement that would allow me to pitch the idea to my contacts in development in worlds of TV and web

I will make your very own rage comic for you

Click here for more details
I will make your very own rage comic for you
I'll make your very own rage comic for you for 5$

Give me a situation that happened in your life , or an imaginary situation that you think is really funny and I'll make a rage comic out of it just for you


For example if something really funny or something interesting happened in your school or college today , I can convert the situation into a rage comic

You could even post it on Facebook and tag the people involved

Enjoyy!!!

I will give advice, dance bachata etc, or even sing happy birthday

Click here for more details
I will give advice, dance bachata etc, or even sing happy birthday
Hi my name is Shandiqua

O'Connor and I have a fan base where I answer advice, but I can also do other things as well
Anyway, if you have a question or you want me to sing (>1 min) or whatever just ask!

Note: this is a character
I am a trained actor who has studied at The Second City and other improv institutions
This is for purpose of laughter and enjoyment


No inappropriate requests will be honored
I am a professional actor
Thanks

I will do punch up writing to improve your comedy script

Click here for more details
I will do punch up writing to improve your comedy script
Get a fresh and informed perspective on your work along with suggestions you can use
I'll read up to 20 pages of your screenplay, teleplay, sketch, play or short story
Next, I'll write at least 5 KEY SUGGESTIONS- dialogue and/or action
My goal is to improve your script with an emphasis on humor

If your script is more than 20 pages, please buy accordingly or I will only be able to read and comment on those first 20
For example, if your script is 60 pages, buy 3 orders
If it's 100 pages, buy 5

I will use a speaking bird to say anything you want

Click here for more details
I will use a speaking bird to say anything you want
I'll use speaking bird to say anything you like
It can be a Birthday Wish, Website URL, Business Name, Company Name, Your Name or anything you like
The bird speaks 10 or 12 words per one service
I'll provide the 640X480
WMV or
AVI format video with green screen background
If you want to add your custom background to it, I'll add it for only $5 too
This is a unique service on fivess
Order It And Enjoy

I will juggle knives, fire clubs check out the gig extras for apples, bananaanas, even with a fire work on my head

Click here for more details
I will juggle knives, fire clubs check out the gig extras for apples, bananaanas, even with a fire work on my head
My name is Mr-Marcus and have been a prof street entertainer for many years

****** 100% Ratings - TOP Seller ********
Like the name says, I will juggle a knife or two along with a fire club or two for five bucks – total of 3 objects to juggle

service extra for an apple or other fruit or vegetable which I will eat while juggling, spitting it out while I saying your special message

And, to top it all off, a live firework on my head
This is also a service extra
have a look below

I will make a birthday greeting from the trailer park

Click here for more details
I will make a birthday greeting from the trailer park
I will make a Birthday or Anniversary greeting straight from The Trailer Park Rumpus Room! Your video will be up to a minute long and you'll receive a
wmv file that you can share or post! (Not for Commercials, Adult Topics, Bad Language, Cannot sing the Birthday Song it's copyrighted) Better than a greeting card! A Personal Video Greeting From Internet Celebrity Jolene Sugarbaker!

I will say anything as christopher walken, jack sparrow, kermit the frog or my many other voices

Click here for more details
I will say anything as christopher walken, jack sparrow, kermit the frog or my many other voices
***Just tell me what you want me to say (Or even just a topic you would like a character to briefly talk about) and you will get exactly what you are looking for
I am a skilled impersonator and am also well trained in accents and dialects
So how may my services be of use to you? 1) It's fun, 2) impress your boss by showing him or her that you have power over me, bosses are easily impressed by witnessing an entertaining manipulation of another human being, and 3) Because you have nothing better to do with your time and money than to spend it on a quick laugh from me!
***"Best Of Joeypasc" List: Christopher Walken, Jack Sparrow, Nathan Lane, Doc Holiday(Kilmer), James Mason, The Govenator, Daniel Day Lewis, Mogwai, Sean Connery, Bill Cosby, Family Guy(Herbert, Cleveland, Bruce, Consuela)

Accents/Dialect: Irish, Scottish, German, French, Indian, Brit RP/upper class, Brit Cockney/lower class, Russian, Boston, Southern Drawl

***I can also fashion an original voice if you would prefer

***This list is not all of my repertoire, it is growing and if you want a voice that isn't here just mention it in the further instructions reply as #4

I will record a studio quality comedy rap song on a topic of your choice

Click here for more details
I will record a studio quality comedy rap song on a topic of your choice
i have a studio & for the past 6 years have just been making songs of ridiculousness, would like to make other people laugh


i create 1 song of your choice
if you have lyrics in mind i can add them in as well
Desired beat even? tone? i will need to know the following
on a scale of 1-10
1 being lowest
10 being highest(or put none)
vulgarity
other-

1 service=2 min song
Anything over is 2 services

I will record any message 200 words including singing songs in any of the voices listed below even a combination of voices

Click here for more details
I will record any message 200 words including singing songs in any of the voices listed below even a combination of voices
Carl (from ATHF)
Hank Hill
Scatman Crothers (Scat Cat from Aristocats)
Dan Akroyd
An Auctioneer
Steve Martin
Robin Williams
Mister T
Christian Bales Batman
Jon Lovitz
Harvey Firestein
Kermit the Frog
Allan Rickman
Professor Farnsworth (Futurama)
Meat Wad (ATHF)
The Movie Guy Voice
Bill Cosby
Richard Nixon
Shaggy
Scooby Doo
A Southern Baptist Preacher
Indian Tech Support Representative
Winey Jewish Cousin
Smooth Middle Age Black Guy
Sterotypical native American
Rude French Men
Scotsman
Gary Busey
Christopher Walken
Jimmy Stewart
Don Knots
John Belushi
Tim Curry
Steve Irwin
Eric Carman



and more
I will also issue up to 150 words of verbal abuse on a topic of your choice
Including multiple languages!!!

I will as ★borat★, promote very nice for your company, website, product or say anything using my funny voice in an animated video and audio fil

Click here for more details
I will as ★borat★, promote very nice for your company, website, product or say anything using my funny voice in an animated video and audio fil
Hellllooooooo, my name'a Borat
You likkkeee??? I likkkkeeeeee!!!
I use my famous Borat voice to create funny animated video and audio message in wmv (800x600 resolution) and mp3 format for yooouuuu
You must provide script with no more than 60 words and I will do the rest
If i no do well from this service I get sent back to Kazakhstan and get execuuttee
PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU WILL RECIEVE BOTH AN AUDIO FILE AND VIDEO FILE! :D HIGGHHH FIIIVVEEEE!!!

I will become a blue haired granny and deliver whatever message you need on video

Click here for more details
I will become a blue haired granny and deliver whatever message you need on video
For $5 I will become a blue haired Granny with a beehive hair style who will read whatever message you want! It can be a birthday greeting, anniversary, promotion, business opening, message to a friend or family member! Whatever you need said Granny is here for you

The message will be delivered to you in YouTube ready HD video!
$5 for up to 30 seconds (about 100 words
) See service extras for more!
I will take scripts or I can improv

I will write a short story, film, or sitcom for you

Click here for more details
I will write a short story, film, or sitcom for you
I will create witty, adventure or dramatic in following genres: •5min film •Short story •Commercial •TV Sitcom •Drama
I LOVE 2 write! Fond of Cop dramas, UPLIFTING stories, health, gritty tales, teen reads, sketch comedy & witty dialogue
1-2 characters [✩Approx: up to 550 words w/ ✩1 Revision] Try me on for size, I'm ready 2 write for you :)
NOTE: I retain just "written by" credit -NO Ghostwriting
✩✩✩ORDER 4 serviceS & your 5th one free!✩✩✩

I will post about whatever you need to share for 4 days on our blog to our visitors and followers

Click here for more details
I will post about whatever you need to share for 4 days on our blog to our visitors and followers
Cho & Nilla from 'Chonilla' are happy to mention you, your site, blog, business, announcement, podcast or whatever you want to promote (at the host's discretion of course) on our website with over 20,000 visits
Your promo will be posted for 4 days and automatically submitted to our social networks to over 2500 people

All we need to know are:
- Your First name, What's the name of your business, website, book, podcast, service, band, marriage proposal, happy birthday, love confession, ect

- A brief description (400 characters or less)

- A website / link address or phone number

Once the answers are received, we will review your order, see if it fits our brand or our Chonillians need to know and if all makes sense, we shall post a link and/or written description of your ad as a blog post, we'll email you the link for your review

*** Please note: We do not accept network, multi-level or internet marketing venture/services - Thank you! ***
Peace & #Chonilla ♥

I will be drunk at the bar and relay your message

Click here for more details
I will be drunk at the bar and relay your message
My name is Mr-Marcus
Profesional Street Performer and entertainer

****** 100% Ratings - TOP Seller ********
In the winter, when there is snow outside, I spend a lot of time at home
I have a bar in my home
I sometime spend a lot of time there so I thought, why not relay YOUR SPECIAL message DRUNK, while I am standing there anyway
Check out my extras to make your video extra special!

I will create a voice over, greeting or message as randall aka the honey badger voice

Click here for more details
I will create a voice over, greeting or message as randall aka the honey badger voice
Want to add something cool to a website or project? Want a new voice mail message to really stand out for your friends and family? Well, I've got it covered for only $5! I'll record whatever you want me to say for the project of your choice as the Randall, doing the "Honey Badger" voice
You can provide your own script or leave it up to me, your choice
The recording will be up to 2 minutes (if script provided), otherwise 1 minute max!

I will sing and play guitar to your lyrics or idea in spanish or english

Click here for more details
I will sing and play guitar to your lyrics or idea in spanish or english
As you can see I simply pick up the twangy thing called the guitar and improvise to any idea you have or specific lyrics you've written
The outcome can be loud and obnoxious, soft and gentle or average
It all depends on the message you're aimed to send

Here are samples of other services:https://www
youtube
com/user/fivessOscarVids

I will accept your generous gift

Click here for more details
I will accept your generous gift
Thank you for your support! This service is available so you can tip me for all the work I’ve put into your order
So by purchasing this service, you are giving me a tip! I will deliver a big huge THANKYOU for your tip, and you'll have the chance to leave me feedback all over again! Thank you so much for you business and your kind generosity is appreciated!!

I will provide you with a proven professional comedy hypnosis show plan

Click here for more details
I will provide you with a proven professional comedy hypnosis show plan
I am a professional Comedy Hypnotist
I have created several shows that I perform for schools, companies, corporations and parties
I will send you the outline and explanation of the show structure and skits along with names of music tracks that you could use
If you are beginning this career, this will give you a professional head start on it with a proven successful comedy hypnosis show routine
It assumes you know basics of stage hypnosis